Toodles thought she'd had just about done it all. Only there was one thing missing in her life. Winning the Miss President of the United States Pageant. As soon as she entered the pageant the other contestants threw hissy fits and tried to have Toodles banned. They claimed it wouldn't be fair for them since she had slept with every one of the celebrity judges: Madonna, Regis Philban, Donny Osmond, Madeline Albright, and Buddy Hacket. Toodles wouldn't give in and took her case to the Supreme Court. After much deliberation, the Supreme Court judges ruled that some guy named Mel in Tennessee should decide if Toodles could compete or not. After being located in his luxury home in an anonymous trailer park and badgered by the gossip paper reporters Mel decided that it would be ok for Toodles to compete as long as the other contestants had slept with all the celebrity judges as well. One of Toodles' CCN news anchor boyfriends had skillfully faked evidence that they all had, so Toodles was free and clear to enter the pageant. Unfortunately, the whole incident caused Toodles to get off to a bad start because she couldn't stop her self from wagging her tongue, making rude gestures and saying "na, na, na." to her fellow contestants during the pageant. However, she wowed them in the swimsuit competition with her classic whipped cream bikini. The celebrity judges couldn't figure out the new scoring system developed by a famous psychic by channeling the spirits of Betsy Ross and Nixon and they wondered if Mel wouldn't mind picking the winner instead. The other contestants refused to allow that and instead wanted the winner decided with a game of touch football. Well, the pageant confusion didn't end there and Toodles was mistaken for the ball. She ended up getting fumbled at the ten-yard line. Not the first or last time Toodles would end up underneath a pile of strapping football players but this time she was completely humiliated by the experience. Her tearful concession was by all accounts the speech of her life and she left the two surviving contestants to fight over the crown in a well-publicized celebrity death match.