It may come as a surprise to some, but for a short time Toodles was a secret agent, and if you please I will tell you about it. It was back in the dark days of the cold war when Russians were Russians and Americans were Americans and everybody not getting any hated everyone who was. The superpowers were staging the latest experiments in intercourse, so obviously Toodles was instantly involved A big sexy Russian came by Toodles' place well equipped with an automatic thingy and questioned her about her bungee jumping activities. Whilst Toodles' attention was diverted, he slipped her a Mickey Finn and kidnaped her; transporting her to Siberia in a coffin. There she might well have languished if it hadn't been for that free-wheeling free enterprise caped crusader, Hop-along Charlemange, who rescued her with a cunning plan the details of which are unavailable to the narrator for reasons of national security. "How can I ever repay you, darling?" Asked Toodles sipping champagne aboard Hop-a-long Charlemange's private jet as it flew over the Atlantic. "My dear," Hop-a-long Charlemange replied, "I'm a capitalistic pig, I wouldn't have rescued you if I didn't have a use for you." "I'm flattered." Sniffed Toodles. "Don't worry, you will be in no danger; and, in fact, I think you shall enjoy this." Well anyway, the plan was for Toodles to seduce the executive head of a fast food chain who Hop-a-long Charlemange claimed was really a Russian double agent was using the stores to spread communistic ideals moral depravity; but Toodles was too smart for Hop-a-long Charlemange, and realized right away that this was only a plan to rid himself of his competition. As soon as Toodles touched terra firma, she reported Hop-a-long Charlemange to the Federal Bureau for Spreading Communistic Ideals and Moral Depravity, or FBSCIMD. They forced Hop-a-long Charlemange out of corporate business and he had to assume the safer career of drug dealing to congress. Toodles has had to watch out for him ever since.